Doubts
by Ashbadash
Summary: Bella my love," he mumbled into my split ends. "I all ready told you nothing can compare to my love for you." Now a 4-part story. Wedding chap up!
1. Chapter 1

**This is most-likely going to stay a one shot. Bella's thinking late one night about life after the wedding.**

**I'm new at the whole fanfic thing so go easy on me **

**DISCLAMER: The amazing stephenie meyer owns everything twilight. though what I wouldn't do to own Emmet for a while...**

**BPOV**

I sat, lightly perched on my windowsill, waiting. I knew it was only a matter of minutes before I was in his arms. As I looked out into the dark star-lit sky my mind began to wander to the blur of wedding preparations that had consumed my life for the past three weeks. I could never have fathomed the amount of precise decisions and preparation it took to plan a wedding, well not just a wedding. The way Alice put it this was going to be a wedding Forks will never forget. A month ago, if you had asked me if I wanted crème napkins to match the pale pink seat covers I would have laughed. Now I could recite every shade of pink and set a formal dinner table in three minutes flat. This was quite a feat in my eyes, but Alice found my lack of knowledge in the bridal area increasingly alarming. Alice had been anything but abstemious with wedding plans, after several failed attempts to rein her in I gave up. Only putting my foot down at doves being released at "I do", and ice sculptures of Edward and my self.

I knew Alice was having fun and that made me happy, but the most important thing was it made Edward happy. It seemed as if most of my time was spent with Edward, not that I minded of course. Besides, you only get married once, and if I was leaving the human world I was going out with a bang.

_Leaving the human world._

Shivers coursed up and down my spine. I knew I was ready, I was about to bind myself to Edward in more ways than just marriage, and being a vampire was part of that. An inevitable choice I would soon have to face. The more I thought about it the more I realized I was ready to be bitten, more than ready to live a life of darkness and follow the ways of the Cullen's. I was mentally prepared for the excruciating three days of transition.

Only one doubt still rested in my head, was Edward ready to forever silence my heart?

"Where are you," I whispered into the darkness. I sighed and set my back against the cold, hard shutters. I knew my skeptic was absurd, but I couldn't help notice the clouded sadness that crept into Edwards's eyes whenever changing me was brought up.

Then suddenly he was there. I could feel him before I saw him; the goose bumps on my spine spread throughout my whole body, and my heart skipped a beat. All my doubts and fears vanished as Edward lifted me into his arms and whispered "Bella my love" His cool lips brushing the tip of my ear. I relaxed into his arms as he put me down on my bed and slid under the covers with me. I suppressed a yawn; he hummed lightly as he drew circles with his fingers on my shoulder.

"Why did you wait up for me? You knew I would be out late hunting." He frowned and propped himself up on one arm. I sat up on my knees so we were equal in height.

'I couldn't sleep." I said simply.

'And why couldn't you sleep?'

"I was thinking too much."

This seemed to amuse him. He smiled and kissed my nose.

"Thinking about what my Bella?"

I was silent and lowered my eyes to my hands.

"It's all right if you don't want to tell me, I understand." He spoke softly.

I sighed and lifted my face to his.

"I've just been thinking about after the wedding a lot."

The lopsided smile I love appeared on his face. He laced his fingers with mine and leaned dangerously close to my face.

"I have too," he whispered seductively, his hand trailed lightly down my leg. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, he smiled again causing my heart to stop completely.

"Not about _that_, I mean I _have _but-" I struggled for words as he kissed my collarbone.

"Are you ready for me to be a vampire?" I blurted gently pushing him away. He frowned and opened his mouth but I put a finger to his lips. Edward closed his eyes and inhaled, pressing his cheek to my finger. I knew it would sound silly once I said it, but I had to be certain. I simply _had _to know that his heart, how ever still and cold, was in this as much as mine was.

"I mean is there another reason you don't want to change me besides the fact that I wouldn't be human?" I took a deep breath after spitting it all out in one sentence. He frowned and cocked his head to one side.

"I'm confused" I took a deep breath. _Just say it, _I thought.

"Are you afraid you're not going to love me as much after I'm a vampire? Are you scared that once the small things you love about me are gone you won't love me as much? That once my heart doesn't beat any more and I don't blush and my smell is gone you will feel differently? Are you afraid I won't be the same Bella you fell in love with?" I stopped once again for lack of air. He was silent for a long time, I looked into his eyes searching for a clue to what was going through his head. His face was blank and emotionless. I felt tears swelling up in my eyes.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" I whispered, fear gripping my heart. Then in one swift movement a huge Emmet like grin appeared on his face, he threw his head back and laughed. Edward laughed a loud, booming, joyful laugh. I jumped at the sound and leaped up covering his mouth. He rolled over onto is back taking me down with him, laughing and clutching me to his side.

"Edward!" I hissed as I unsuccessfully tried to stifle his laughter. "Sush you'll wake Charlie!"

I sat up, crossed my arms over my chest and waited for his little giggle fest to finish. Slowly his laughter died down to a chuckle. He pulled me into his lap and pressed his face into my hair.

"Bella love," he mumbled into my split ends. 'I never knew you had such a good sense of humor." I frowned and swatted his arm.

"I was being serious." He abruptly stopped laughing and looked into my eyes. The scowl I had on my face showed him I wasn't stepping down.

"Bella," he sighed. Edward took my face in his hands and tenderly kissed my forehead.

"You silly absurd little girl, could you really think that anything that happens to you would cause me to lose my feelings for you? I already told you nothing can compare to the way I feel about you, as you would put it, you're a dream come true. Bella this is only the beginning our relationship. I just got started loving you and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. _Just got started lovin' you, James Otto _I need you, I need you more than I need anything else in this world. You are the air I breathe, the sun on my rainy day, my reason for living, and my joy in existence." He stopped here to kiss the tip of my nose. I felt as if my heart had swelled up and was about to burst. I felt a sure of emotion rush through my veins. "That's why I don't want to change you, because I love you. You should know that by now. Besides love, I would love you even if an evil witch turned you into a toad tomorrow."

I giggled and laid my head on his chest, he stroked my hair.

"Did you really mean all that?"

Edward inclined his head towards me, I could feel his cool breath on my neck.

"Every word." With that I leaned forward closing the space between us. It was a soft sweet kiss that lasted longer than most. He placed his hands on the small of my back and pulled me closer to him. As always his stone lips pulled away before I was ready. He chuckled at the frown on my face and lifted me under the covers. I snuggled up next to him and he mindlessly played with my hair.

"Sleep now my Bella," He cooed. "I love you, forever and eternity."

"I love you too Edward," I sighed.

My last thought as I succumbed into unconsciousness was the face of an angel, running his teeth along my neck.

**So there you have it, review pretty pretty please! I really mean it, if people like it enough i might continue it, but i'm not sure.**

**-Ashley **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so I decided to change my one-shot into a 4-part story. Here's the new chapter, it's kind of a filler before the wedding chapter. But im proud of it none the less. Starts off slow but it gets better.**

**Disclamer: I don't own anything that has to do with Twilight. but i do love me some Emmet ;**

* * *

Two days. 48 hours. 288 minutes. Two Twilights. It astounded me that in such a short time I would be married to Edward. _Married,_ Edward loved to say it, his face lit up a thousand times when the word escaped his mouth, causing my breath to escape me.

I ran my hands over the white lace cascading down my body. I looked into the full body-length mirror hanging on the magenta walls of Alice's bedroom. My first opinion of the dress hadn't changed; perfect was the only word to describe it. The dress had a slimmer cut which elongated my body. It was strapless with a beaded top and a low dip on the back revealing my pale skin. The body of the dress was draped with the most stunning vintage lace I'd ever seen, and Alice had designed the long veil to perfection. I felt comfortable wearing it, and I knew Edward would love it on me. What I loved most about the dress though, was it made me look more beautiful than I could have ever imagined myself being. I knew standing next to Edward at the altar, wearing the dress, I would feel worthy of him. With each passing day I felt beautiful and more confident than ever before. I looked down at my engagement ring, touched my finger to the cool oval center rock and smiled. Feeling the cold hard stones against my skin reminded me of Edward.

Taking one more look at my reflection, I sat down on the huge love seat in the middle of the bedroom and attempted to release my feet from the sky high heels Rosalie had strapped on them. I was yanking at the straps when Alice came dancing through the door.

"Bella you looked amazing today! The photographer raved about you, and I swear outside in that dress you sparkled like one of us! Oh dear don't kill the shoes, here let me help you." She bent down and gracefully removed the death traps from my feet. It had been her idea to get pictures of me taken before the wedding. Claiming I would want them for memories and she needed them for reception decorations.

"Come on," she chirped after replacing my shoes back in their designated box. "Our boys will be home any minute." She winked at me and exited her room leaving me to my self.

I heard the door slam as I replaced the huge bag containing my dress in Alice's impossibly immense closet. Several deep voices wafted up into the bedroom, one in particular more recognizable than the others. The soft, sweet voice of an angel, my angel. I skipped down the hallway, but slowed when I reached the winding staircase. I carefully descended, stopping once Edward came into view. His back was turned to me, a tuxedo bad careless slung over his shoulder. I lost my train of thought as I took in his perfection. With his back towards me I could see his perfectly sculpted muscles protruding from his shirt. He must have heard my heart fluttering, for he turned around and a smile lit his face from his chiseled chin to his topaz eyes.

"Bella," he breathed. I flew down the stairs towards him, taking them two at a time. Of course I tripped on the last step, but Edward caught me, cradling me to his chest.

"Geez Bella, way to be such a human.' Emmett snickered.

"Geez Emmett way to ruin a romantic moment." I shot back. Edward set me on my feet, throwing Emmett a look that caused him to retreat into the living room.

"Did you enjoy taking photographs?" Edward asked, brushing the hair out of my face.

"No," I grumbled crossing my arms. "It was the worst and most awkward hour of my _life." _He just chuckled and guided me towards the living room. Emmet and Jasper were perched on the couch watching a car race on a TV half the size of the wall. Rosalie was sitting on the floor leaning against Emmet's knees, blowing on freshly painted crimson nails.

"We can't speed everything up," she laughed seeing me eying her nails.

Edward flopped down onto the futon pulling me into his lap. I snuggled into the side of his marble chest. He reached for a stray strand of my hair and intertwined it with his fingers.

"How was running errands?" I asked him.

"Annoying as hell," Emmett grumbled. Edward chuckled at his response.

"Emmet wasn't the only one anxious to get home." He kissed my temple.

"Some of us are trying to concentrate on things other than you love birds," Emmet said. Rosalie growled and swatted his hand.

"Be kind Emmett, she's about to be family." He grinned sheepishly in my direction.

"Aw Rose Bella knows I'm kidding." But Rosalie's harsh stare caused him to hunch down and mumble a hushed apology. I smiled feeling Edwards laughter beneath me.

"I wish I could control Emmett like that." Esme said as her and Carlisle gracefully walked into the room. Esme held out a bowl of steaming pasta towards me. Hearing my stomach growl, I gladly accepted and wolfed down the warm noodles.

The following day was a blur of wedding preparations and dress rehearsals. Being the day before the wedding, everything had to be checked, run through, and tested. I tried to spend every possible moment with Edward, knowing when we parted I wouldn't see him until I reached the altar.

Alice insisted on throwing me a bachelorette party. Her, Esme, Rosalie and Angela took me to Port Angeles to a night club I'd never heard of before. They forced me to do shots of who knows what, and open naughty presents that caused Esme to look away. Even after I'd voiced my objection to this absurd pre-marital ritual, Alice insisted it was something I simply _had _to do and that I would thank her for it later.

Finally after what seemed like endless hours of watching strip teases, Alice dropped me off at my house leaving me with the promise of her return early the next morning.

I sighed and rolled over. My bed felt strange and uncomfortable without Edward's presence beside me. I stared up at the ceiling pondering the next day's events. A thrill of excitement rushed through me.

_Tomorrow I'm getting married! _

I ran through the ceremony in my head. Alice had obsessed over it so much I knew it wouldn't be anything less than perfect. The sound of my window scraping against the wall broke me form my thoughts. I was all too familiar with the sound to be afraid.

"Edward," I smiled into the pillow. I felt his cool arms surround me as he lifted me into his arms.

"I thought you weren't supposed to see the bride the day of the wedding?' I asked. He tenderly kissed my forehead.

"I couldn't resist." He said as he kissed my neck, working his way up to my mouth.

"Besides," He said glancing at the clock. "We still have 20 minutes until our wedding day." This caused my already racing heart to pound harder in my chest. He smiled and put his head gently on the center of my chest.

"What are you doing?" I sighed as I played with his hair.

"Memorizing your heart beat," he murmured, his golden eyes intense, concentrating on the thump within my body. I frowned staring at his hunched profile.

"Why?" I asked simply. He replied with out moving, his lips were the only part of his body that changed position.

"My love your heart beats are numbered. Our wedding is tomorrow and it won't be long after that until I have to change you." His eyes broke their concentration here, he looked up into mine and I saw the passion burning beneath them.

"I love you, and nothing that happens to you could change that. But Bella I'll be dammed if I let all memory of you fluttering heart fade. A thousand years from now I want to sit and remember the sound of you perfect heart." The swell of emotion I felt prevented me from speaking, so I simply kissed the top of his head. I fiddled with his hair and watched him, the look of concentration in his eyes never ceasing. We lay there for a while, comfortable in each others' embrace. I glanced at the clock, sighed, and sat up, pulling him along with me. He pressed his face against mine and held me close to him.

"As much as I hate to say this," I mumbled into his cool sweet breath. "It's three minutes to midnight, and knowing my luck we should probably keep this tradition." He kissed me tenderly and stroked my hair.

"I love you Bella, more than all the stars in the sky."

"Now how can I compete with that?" I giggled. He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight my bride, until tomorrow." I touched his cheek tenderly with my hand, and he disappeared into the dark. Leaving me to the longest night of my life.

**Okay so that was it! I hope you liked it, next up is the wedding. Which i've allready started writing and it's going to be good.**

**Reviews are loved and appreciated! Do it please! **

**Ashley:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay here's the new chapter. Sorry it took a little while we've been having AP testing down here. And I've been busy reading the host and...MEETING STEPHENIE MEYER! Yes that's right, last night i was in the third row at her book signing and got to meet her. It was amazing. :)**

**Disclamer**: **I wish i owned twilight**

* * *

"Wake up sleepy head! Today's the big day!"

I awoke to a fiery ball of spiky hair bouncing up and down on my bed. I squinted into the sunlight streaming through the open window onto my face. I groaned and rolled over, my headache had disappeared with the night but a new feeling arose in my body: nerves.

"Come on Bella, get up and get dressed so we can leave!" She squealed. "We have so much beautifying to do." Seeing that I wasn't moving she ripped the covers off, leaving the cool air to envelope me. I shivered and groped for the covers.

"I turned the air conditioning on extra-cold." She said smugly.

"Alice," I moaned as I heaved myself out of bed, trudging towards the closet.

"There's a good bride." Alice said. "I'll go make your breakfast." With that she twirled out of the room leaving me shivering. I immediately threw on my favorite pair of jeans and an old hoodie of Edwards I'd forced him to let me have. I clamored into the bathroom, and attempted to make myself look decent.

Alice looked up as I thundered into the kitchen. "What's wrong" She asked alarmed.

"Nothing, I'm just excited that's all." I giggled. She rolled her eyes and flipped the pancakes sizzling in the pan in front of her.

"These were on your car when I got here this morning," she nodded towards the counter. Sitting in the center was the most beautiful bouquet of roses I had ever seen. Tied together with a satin ribbon their undeniable beauty astounded me. I tenitively picked them up, and clutched them to my chest when I saw the thorns had been cut off. I knew only one person could had left them for me.

"Stupid love-sick vampire," Alice muttered under her breath. I beamed down at the flowers, a warm feeling spread from my heart down to my toes. _I really don't deserve him, _I though to my self.

After eating my breakfast painstakingly slow, Alice whisked me away to Port Angeles for 'A day of beautification.'

We started at the nail salon, both Alice and I getting mani-pedi's. Alice chose my color's for me, a shimmery white for the tips of my fingernails and a soft pink color for my toes. When Alice wasn't looking I told the nail lady to put gold sparkles on them. She did, and I found my freshly painted toes were much to my liking now that they sparkled in the sun light. Before leaving the salon Alice insisted I get some waxing done. They waxed my eyebrows and various other parts of my body that left me howling in anguish and wobbling out of the salon.

I was still glaring at Alice when we arrived at a high-in looking hair salon. A tall skinny man with an unnaturally high voice met us at the door and introduced himself as Paul. Rosalie was already inside, sitting in a salon chair, her blonde hair being carefully blow-dried by a woman who could have walked right out of a fashion magazine. Alice and Paul sat me down and discussed different styles. They finally agreed on clipping the front of my hair back out of my eyes with delicate crystal clips. The rest of my hair was to be curled around my face, in soft individual ringlets. Paul explained to me that the look would be simple, yet elegant. I approved, simple and elegant seemed to suit me. After Paul hacked away at my hair with a curling iron, the make-up specialist was brought in. She took one look at my face and told me I didn't need much, just a little to play up my _already beautiful_ features. Hearing this seemed to displease Alice.

"It's her wedding day, she's not supposed to look natural she's supposed to look magnificent." She barked. They argued over it a while and settled on adding some color and shine to my face, but not as much as Alice had originally wanted. While the lady worked, Alice would bark out corrections or comments at her. As much as I asked, they wouldn't let me see my new appearance until they were done poking and prodding my face with different pencils, brushes, and creams. When they finally turned me towards the mirror I gasped. The girl looking back at me didn't look like normal Bella. She looked like strong, beautiful, about to be married to a gorgeous vampire Bella. My hair was flawless; I knew Edward would love the soft curls framing my face. Alice had been correct about my make-up, adding color to my eyes made them stand out dramatically. My cheeks were naturally red, but a little bronzer was added, making me look less pale. My favorite was my lips. They were painted a shimmery red, not crimson red, but a mellow color. I wouldn't have to worry about my lips looking like blood, but Edward would find them irresistible.

I knew we were running late. Alice normally drove extremely fast, but today the yellow Porsche was reaching the highest number on the speedometer. Rosalie was in the back seat talking so fast into the silver phone, I couldn't make out a single word. Alice glanced at me patting my leg reassuringly.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine, it's more nerves than anything else," I replied. The butterflies had started again. Not just I have to give a speech butterflies, but hard core vicious gnawing at the sides of my stomach butterflies.

"I'll be okay once we get there, if we make it alive. Jesus, Alice this is fast even for you." She ignored me and accelerated faster.

The actual wedding was being held at a small church in town, with the reception in the Cullen's back yard. I was going to get ready at the Cullen's house, then leave directly for the church. Alice flew into the drive way nearly hitting a group of servers carrying tables. Upon our arrival Esme dashed out onto the porch.

"Oh Bella you look stupendous!" She gasped and I returned her smile. "Your mothers here, we've got everything set out, all we need is your pretty little body." I blushed furiously.

"Bella hurry upstairs!" Alice screeched. "Edward's out back and he _cannot _see you." She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. As we went through the foyer I looked out the wide back windows, my face fell when I didn't see him. As I was turning around someone walking into my line of vision caught my eye. There he was, his perfect back facing me. I knew if I wanted to see him I would have to act fast. I glanced at Alice; her back was towards the window as she said something to Rosalie. I took a deep breath, in one sweeping motion I kicked my legs out from under me, and felt the thud of my body hitting the floor. All I needed now was for someone to think "_Bella fell."_

Immediately I lifted my head up. As if it was happening in slow-motion, Edward turned around facing me. At first he looked above my head then his eyes dropped to my level. Our eyes locked for a brief second. A small half-smile played on his lips as he took in my body, sprawled across the floor. Then, as fast as it had happened, it was over. Alice ripped me off the ground and flew up the stairs at vampire speed. When she sat me back on my feet I grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry Alice." She laughed and followed me towards her bedroom.

"Bella what _are _we going to do with you."

"Love me, please me, never leave me." I smiled. She giggled and embraced me. After seeing Edward, even if only a glimpse, I was filled with a whole new level of excitement and anticipation.

"I'm going to warn you," she said as she released me, her tone suddenly serious. "Renee's a little emotional right now." I felt my heart leap. Other than the phone call breaking the new of my wedding, I hadn't seen my mother since Edward and mine's visit. Renee sat on Alice's couch, lightly fingering the old lace of my dress. I could tell by her puffy cheeks that she had been crying.

"Isabella!" She cried when she saw me, flinging herself off the couch.

I couldn't tell you much about those next few hours; my mind was frozen with anxiety. Alice, Rosalie, Esme and Renee fluttered about me, making sure I looked perfect. My mind was in a daze, I didn't fully comprehend what was going on until Charlie grabbed my arm and whispered,

"Are you ready?"

It was like my brain had been going in slow motion, and suddenly flew into overdrive. The precession had just started; Emmet and Rosalie were walking down the aisle. I nodded in Charlie's direction. I was more than ready; my heart ached to be next to Edward again.

"You know Bells," Charlie struggled for words. "I don't think I ever told you this, but congratulations. I really do like Edward, and I'm glad you're happy. Edward's a good man, and I know he'll treat you right. That's all a father could ask for." He wiped at the tears that forming in the corners of his eyes. I felt mine beginning to water as well.

"Thank you," was all I had time to say. The doors opened and the wedding march began to play. We proceeded down the aisle, just as Alice had taught us. As soon as the doors opened I locked eyes with Edward. He looked more breathtakingly beautiful than ever. In this moment, even standing still he didn't look like statue. His face had color in it, his body glowed, not as is in direct sunlight, but glowing with pride. The dark circles under his eyes were hardly visible. He was more human than I had ever seen him, and even though I didn't think it was possible, I was more in love with him than ever before.

All my worries, doubts and fears vanished as I gazed into his golden, scorching eyes, eyes full of passion and emotion like nothing I'd ever seen before. A crooked grin on his face, his eyes broke their stare for a second as they flickered over my body, his eyes widening. I smiled when I heard Emmet whistle. My heart beat more wildly than ever as I drew closer to him. And then I felt at peace. Because I knew the only thing that mattered in that moment, was the person waiting for me at the altar. After what seemed like an eternity we arrived at the threshold. Charlie kissed my cheek and returned to his place next to Renee. I stared into Edwards loving eyes, "My love" He whispered, a small smile playing on his lips.

The ceremony began; I don't think neither Edward nor I were paying attention, all my thoughts were sucked into the depth of his shimmering face. My head snapped to attention when the pastor said it was time for the vows. Of course Edward had wanted to write our own vows. At first I'd found it difficult, then one day I was laying on my bed and the words came to me. The pastor nodded at Edward, I felt my legs give out as his smoldering eyes bore into mine. The only thing keeping me up now was Edwards grasp on me.

"My Bella," He began. "They say real joy is incandescent, ineffable, and a blinding transcendental bliss. I can honestly say that you, my love, bring me all of those things: the purest form of joy. I have always cared for you, from the first day I saw you. Even though it took a little while for that to turn into love, it was always there. Every day I'm with you I love you more than the one before. With you my life is perfect; it doesn't seem like such a waste anymore. I love you Bella. You are my one and only, my reason for living, my joie de vivre. I will love you until the end of time, forever, and eternity." He smiled, and I felt my heart go from pounding to silent. He bent down brushing his cold lips against my finger before slipping on the ring. I could hear Renee sobbing in the pews, but I was too lost in Edwards gaze to cry. I knew mine was shorter than Edward's, and nothing could compete with what he had just said, but I spoke from my heart.

"Edward, I never thought I could feel like this, about anyone, ever. I'm not sure how I lived 17 years of my life without you, because I know I couldn't live another hour without you. I never really _lived_ before you. You've awakened a whole new side of me I never knew I had. Now that I'm with you I feel more whole, and complete then I could have ever thought possible. You've given me my reason for existence; I am yours, fully and completely. You found me just in time, just before I lost my self with out you. I love you."

Edward didn't wait; he wrapped his arms around my back and pressed his cool lips to mine. It wasn't our most passionate kiss, but the love I felt in that kiss was unrepeatable. We broke apart and he grinned, a huge exuberant smile. I pressed my face into his chest, finally letting the tears of joy come. Edward took my hand and I heard the words I had been dreaming about.

"May I now present, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen"

I heard the applause, and Emmet cat-calling. Edward led us down the aisle, me at his side, where I would be forever and eternity.

**There it is, it's long and i got the ending from the last line in eclipse. I hope you enjoyed it! Please please please Read and review!**


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